Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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