she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
