youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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