Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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