im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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