Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
