I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wish I only lived at night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
