Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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