when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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