I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
