No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
