there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
