i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
