So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
