So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
