Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
