was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
