get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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