It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
MIDGETS
????
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
