Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
