Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How naked do you want me to be?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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