This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
