my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
