After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is my gift to your gina
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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