Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It was confusing and full of hummus
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She bit a glass in half.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
