would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
