just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
