I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
