There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
