Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You have to summon your inner elephant
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
