I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
