Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
