Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
