worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
