U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
