i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize