don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
