:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
