It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish you could order shots online.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
