Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
