That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize