Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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