She's JV to your varsity
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
