And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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