So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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