I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
