I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize