so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
