The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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