Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
