he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
