I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
