Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
