is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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