you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
