hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
