this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Vodka?
Forever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
