Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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