we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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