Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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