How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
