i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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