It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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