if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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