wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
