You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
