ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
