Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wanna passion pit in your ass
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
