I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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